Oct 27

Friends are so very important to women of all ages. (This is something that men can never understand – my advice is to never try. I’m sure it’s a DNA thing!) The support they give when we are so very overwhelmed with our lives and loves is sometimes the only thing that keeps us sane. We treasure our friends and will do anything for them.

The problem is that sometimes friendships go bad.

I am in the middle of such a time. It’s so very difficult because this friendship is declining at a slow pace. It’s not a quick and easy death, but very slow and painful. I am hoping that we may be able to salvage something from it.

I have loved this woman for so very long. We have known each other for years and been involved in each others lives through the good and the bad. We have watched each others kids grow and mature, and dealt with the pain of divorces and family traumas. She is a dear sweet person without whom I don’t know how I would have got through the past few years. But she is also a drain on me emotionally and financially. And I just can’t do it anymore. She understands and is trying to move on and break away….and, frankly, she’s doing a pretty good job so far.

Can she sustain it? Who knows! But at least she’s giving it a good try. And that in itself is helping to keep our friendship chugging along. She has physically moved away from me, she is making great efforts to repay me what she owes me, she is growing up – and that is also helping. I guess “absence does make the heart grow fonder”! And, in this case, it may indeed save a wonderful friendship.

Oct 25

I was sent something wonderful to my twitter account today. But it was too good to just retweet, so check out this link.

http://bolstablog.wordpress.com/2008/12/23/cherish/

I must admit that I’m still skeptical!! Is this guy for real or is he just saying what I want to hear?? Isn’t it awful to realize how jaded you have become??

I will read this article many times, I believe. And I’m going to send it to the very few male friends that I have – I truly want their input.

I’ll send it to my dad too – the one thing I know for sure is that he already know this “secret”. He has lived it his entire life. That’s why he and my mum are still happily married – 50 years now! Mum is in hospital recovering from an extensive back surgery – nearly a year ago now! – but he still lives his life around her. Until this surgery, they hardly spent a night apart. They still hold hands wherever they go. They cook together, eat together, make the bed together. …they love and cherish each other. They gave a wonderful gift of an example of a truly amazing marriage (rocks and all).  I love you Mum and Dad.

Oct 23

This was not a good week (I feel like Alexander and the Terrible, No Good, Horrible day, or whatever the name of that kid’s book is!). My car broke down and, of course, I didn’t have any money to get it fixed. I didn’t get to see my friends as much as I wanted. My youngest (who is nearly 16 and just won’t listen to me) had to have the first of a series of dental visits because he won’t floss or brush often enough! I was bored and lonely all week. I have no dates and no prospects. My oldest son fell off his bike. Etc….

But, my friend Mario fixed my car today (I paid for parts, gas, and gave him a couple of great margaritas), I got some of the back pay owed to me by my sometimes boss. My son hugged me and showed me his great school work. I found yet another great bottle of wine and shared it with friends. My dog still loves me.

What more could I ask?

Oct 20

I sat in a bar the other night and I couldn’t help over hearing a conversation between two ladies next to me. They were lamenting the lack of quality men in their lives and were pondering the best way to correct this situation.  In other words, they were in a dating rut. Finally, one of them said that she had decided to “expand her search area”.

Now, I thought to myself, “what a good idea!”. Afterall, there are amazing people all over the place so why limit your opportunities? But then she said, “I’m going to start hanging out at the bar next door”.

Well, I’m sorry, but that’s just not good enough. Yes, you will meet some new faces but you’ll probably also run into a lot of people you already know and have rejected. Why not move totally out of your area?

Try a bar in a whole other town! (wow, what a concept!) Or maybe even try something other than a bar – attend a “MeetUp” group that appeals to you. And for those of you who have never heard of “Meetup” I urge you to get to a search engine NOW and check it out.

I’m certainly not saying you’ll meet the person of your dreams, but you can at least give yourself a fighting chance and, if nothing else, expand your dating horizons and hopefully your world and your life.